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THE  FAMILY  UNIT,  part  2  quotes

1)    Why, in non-religious family matters, is Christ the head of every man, but not of every woman?

     “...forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is of the man.  For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man.  Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.” 1 Corinthians 11:7-9.

     This means that the man has preeminence in the family.

2)     Since the man has preeminence in the family, does this give him the right to mistreat women?

     “Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.  For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things of God.” 1 Corinthians 11:11-12.

     This means that both men and women stand on an equality with each other, and thus there is no basis for any man to mistreat any woman in any area, or for any woman to mistreat any man in any area.

3)     As all men and women are co-equals with each other, then why in non-religious family matters has God made the head of every wife her own husband?

     “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.  Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” Ephesians 5:21-24.

     “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.  Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.  For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well”. 1 Peter 3:1-6.

4)     Does this position as head of the family give the husband permission to lord it over his wife, or to mistreat her in any way?

     “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” 1 Peter 3:7.

     This means that if any husband mistreats his wife in any fashion, then God will not hear his prayers.  Without God answering his prayers then this husband will be doomed to a life of misery and failure!

5)     Should the wife become a silent partner without any say in any decisions which are to be made in the family?

     The husband and wife are united together as one flesh through marriage.  They are bound to each other as equals.  They are to try to see eye to eye on every issue so that there may be peace, harmony and unity in the family.  But in the times when there is a disagreement between the husband and wife on any decision which needs to be made, and they cannot come to an agreement between them, then the final decision is left with the husband.
     “The husband is the head of the family, as Christ is the head of the church; and any course which the wife may pursue to lessen his influence and lead him to come down from that dignified, responsible position is displeasing to God. It is the duty of the wife to yield her wishes and will to her husband. Both should be yielding, but the word of God gives preference to the judgment of the husband.  And it will not detract from the dignity of the wife to yield to him whom she has chosen to be her counselor, adviser, and protector. The husband should maintain his position in his family with all meekness, yet with decision.” Testimonies, Volume 1, p 307-308.

     God in His wisdom has seen to it that even though, in non-religious matters, the head of every wife is her husband, there is no basis in truth for any husband to mistreat or to lord it over his wife in any area!  And there is also no basis in truth for any wife to mistreat or usurp authority over her husband in any area!

     “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.  Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.” Colossians 3:18-19.

     “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.” 1 Corinthians 7:3.

     “God has ordained that there should be perfect love and harmony between those who enter into the marriage relation. Let bride and bridegroom, in the presence of the heavenly universe, pledge themselves to love each other as God has ordained they should. Let no draught of unkindness chill the atmosphere of love which should surround them. The wife is to respect and reverence her husband, and the husband is to love and cherish his wife. As the priest of the household, the husband and father should bind his wife and children to his heart. The wife should feel that the large affections of her husband sustain her before her children are born, and after their birth he should co-operate with her in the management of the little ones, who should be wisely, tenderly, and lovingly educated.” Bible Echo, September 4, 1899.

6)     Why, in non-religious matters, is the head of the children their father and mother and not Christ?

     “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.” Exodus 20:12.

     “Children obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.  Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be will with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” Eph 6:1-3.

     “Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.” Colossians 3:20.

     When the children to honor, respect and obey their father and mother, then God is well pleased and He promises to bless these children with long life upon the land which He will give them.  And ultimately this land is the new earth, and thus the length of their days be for eternity.

     But in rendering loving obedience to the instructions of their parents, then children are learning the vitally important lesson and preparing the way for them to love and obey their heavenly Father!  This is why it is absolutely necessary for parents to understand that if they do not teach their children to submit to and obey them then these parents are leading their children directly to destruction!

     “Children who are under strict discipline will at times have dissatisfied feelings. They will become impatient under restraint, and will wish to have their own way, and go and come as they please....And parents need to watch and counsel their children, and decide for them, and show them that if they do not yield cheerful, willing obedience to their parents, they cannot yield willing obedience to God, and it is impossible for them to be Christians.” Testimonies, Volume 1, p 391.

7)     It is essential that parents follow these simple 5 rules in governing their children:

     1 - Be consistent in your commands.

     2 - Agree with one another in your commands.

     3 - Say what you mean.

     4 - Follow the same family rules you expect your children to obey.

     5 - Never punish your children in anger.

     Following these simple 5 rules will lead parents to avoid provoking their children to anger, and thus the children will not become discouraged or rebellious in being nurtured towards the Lord.

     “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.” Colossians 3:21.

     “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4.